It’s a very complicated thing. It’s very emotional for most people and I am not the exception. It can be happy, sad, painful or even psychotic. I think the secret to survival is to not let the emotional happenings control you. Things happen; and they are going to be easy or hard and some will be very painful sometimes.
Guard your heart, protect your insides. Keep all of it at a distance. Most of all don’t let them change the real you to something different then you are. Keep being YOU. NEVER let them inside your heart. Keep your heart safe, and protected from all harm. Never let them see you sweat. Never let them win.
I think this is what I have done. The years have been tough on me. I have grown from them. I’ve learned from them. I have a guarded heart. I have been hurt in my life, most of my life. I taught myself to just move on and to move on quickly. I recently have gone back home to NY for the first time since my parents and lil’ sister passed on. It was rough to be there. No contact with my family was tough. No words, no closure still. I don’t know really what I was looking for. I have no idea what I was even doing up there. I just know again it was painful. I have so much anger built up inside of me and I have no idea how to release it and let it go. One day perhaps I’ll know … ;(