I miss you sis …

My sister and I had our ups and downs like most sisters do. But when we needed each other we were there. We use to laugh because if we didn’t talk for awhile we would find out that what was happening in her life was usually happening in mine. Somehow things our kids would do or something they were going through would usually be the same. Maybe something happening in her life we would find out was happening in my life too. So we could relate that way.

If she needed advice about something she would call me and vise versa. We would share our dreams too. If she had a dream about someone or something I usually had a similar dream. We would try to figure out what they meant together. I’m not sure how life is going to be now without her. I’m going to have a hard time without her. I’m truthfully lost. We had a bond together, a strong bond. We were not twins in birth but we had that twin kind of bond.

I don’t think her kids realize how close we were to each other. I know my kids know. I need her in my life! Why? Why is she not here?? 😭 I am so upset and so broken. I feel lost and with some of her children I feel left out, pushed aside, forgotten. I’m so hurt. I never expected to feel this way. My heart hurts! I know I need to just walk away but then I feel like I lost all of my sister, forever. 🙁😢

Deb you would be so proud of Crystal and Katie right now. I know I am. They tried to do things in love for you, for Andy and Essie. Crystal tried to work it all out the way you had planned it. Two peoples lives are at stake here Deb. Truth is Deb I’m so mad at you! You told me you had your colonoscopies done. Every time I called you to remind you I was told you had it taken care of. But you didn’t Deb! You never did them! And it took your life! I’m just so angry about that.

I don’t understand this. How Deb?? How do I manage now? How do we all manage? You left behind so many that love you and depend on you for many things. I love you sis. I can’t seem to stop these tears either! I hope heaven is as awesome as you expected it to be. ❤️ Someday I’ll meet ya’ll at those gates. I can’t wait to see ya’ll again. Hug our parents and lil sis for me. 🥰 My life is forever changed. 😢💔

Raising children is hard but much harder with another’s interference. 😵‍💫

This is a blog to my grown children. Trying to teach a child right and wrongs are tough. Discipline these days is almost nonexistent and when it is a thing it doesn’t work out to well when others interfere. There really is a limited means to discipline to begin with. It’s not like back in our parents day when you were allowed to spank when needed. Now we must use a corner to stand in, a chair to sit in, send them to their room for a bit, grounding from any or all of their most treasured belongings. Keep them from activities with friends, etc…

My complaint is no matter what I do I have someone interfering. The child pulls a tantrum, cries and says I’m mean in front of family. She acts like she is being harmed and acts out that her feelings are hurt. So what do they do? Baby her! Take it upon themselves to “fix it” or “make her feel better”. Interfere with my discipline instead of just telling her to go sit down until she can calm down and participate in the family gathering. So what does she do? She eats that up and repeats the incident every time the family gets together. I’ve about had it! Instead of asking me they just take it upon themselves to deal with her in their way ignoring my way, the person having to deal with her everyday.

If they want to raise the child they should have went to court for her at each court battle to win the custody battle for her! They should be feeding her, clothing her, and providing a home for her too. I really feel defeated here and walked over and ignored. My rules are being ignored too! I’m just done. From now on, mind your business where she is concerned. She is MY responsibility so let it be. I love ya’ll but this is my life not yours. 😵‍💫

Well it’s been a minute …

A lot has been happening since my last post. It’s been a long bumpy road. The last few years we have lost quite a few people to the other side. The pandemic has been tough on all of us, I’m sure that story doesn’t have to be told. But this year has been the toughest. We lost my two nephews two months apart and to make it harder the same exact way, in their sleep where their mama had to find them the next morning. Never to have any answers why. I have never experienced that and I pray to God I never do. I felt such a deep pain in my heart that I knew my sisters heart had to be broken, shattered rather, in a zillion pieces.

My heart was taking such a hit that I had no words to help my own sister! I found myself crying off and on over and over. I couldn’t even talk to my sister without breaking down myself. How was that suppose to help my sister? Through it all I took in Deanna whom is 8 yrs old. She kinda helped me deal quite a bit. She is a handful and I believe God knew that is just what I needed to get me back to living peacefully again. Now I know that doesn’t help my sister still. But God has always put someone in my life to get me through the tough areas of my days. I can always count on that!

She has been a handful for sure but also a great blessing. We have no little ones anymore so we have spoiled her a bit. Its been a fun 6 1/2 months with her, I hope when she goes home she gets more from us than silly gifts and fun times. I hope she learns a lot and uses it in her adult life to survive the beautiful planet we live on with such a huge amount of evil people living along side us. She will need a huge heart for our heavenly father, compassion and love for others, and some real deep brain cells we call smarts. I pray God leads her in all her decision making.

We went a bit crazy and bought her a few things while she’s here to keep her occupied. I had to buy used/marked down items for the most part but we did throw in a few new ones too. Here are a few fun things to keep her busy. ❤️

Kids tablet and Shark Adventure water slide

Trampoline

Kids love camping …

Deanna Lynn wanted to go camping and the heat outside has been in the triple digits so we decided to camp inside. It’s more fun inside than you think. I found this website with so many good ideas to try. So tomorrow night we are going to have a bit of fun with it. I did let her pitch a tent and sleep in it tonight but the real fun starts tomorrow. I’ll share more then. So join us! Go to this website, read up on it, and have fun with us!

Kids camping fun

Pitch a tent

Sleep comfy

Camping is fun

Summer fun

However you decide inside or outside, kids love camping! So just do it and have some fun with them. 🙂

Why do I always do this??

My head tells me to stop but my heart tells me to keep doing what I do. When I see someone hurting I always want to fix it. I know that I should let God be the one to take care of things. The thing is I always hurt when they hurt. I’m too compassionate and I need desperately to learn to say no. How do I say no and just walk away? Its so hard to let others feel pain or feel a deep heartache. The problem is in the end I am the one hurt and in pain.

A few years ago I took in two awesome young boys. Their mama got into some trouble with cps and asked me to help her. Of course I did it without hesitance and kept them for 11 months. Oh how I loved those two young fellas! I did everything I could for them to make them happy and healthy so when they went back home to mama they would be ready for her. It blew up in my face and in the process I lost a friend (their mama) and those sweet boys I have known and loved as my own grandchildren. I am not allowed in their lives anymore. My heart is broken!

Today I have a little girl in my care basically the same way. She has been here now for 4 months. I have also spoiled her with my love. I’m so afraid that this could also go wrong and I will also lose a family member over things that happen and possibly lose this little girl as well who I love as my own grandchild. Life is so hard today. I do what I do only to be a helper of God. I only want to be a Grammy to these children. I never really want to have to raise them. I always pray for Gods will to be done not my own. I do think that I should learn to say no but when my heart hears what could happen if I do say no then I feel the pain and heartache of the situation so deeply. By faith, I know that praying, “Thy will be done,” is the best thing I can ask for.

I pray this to my heavenly father (it is a scripture that I read one day and I changed it in my prayer by using “I” instead of “we or us”) so that it is said correctly to Jesus so he can pass it on to God for me.

“Now to you who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to your power Lord that is at work within me, to you father be the glory, in Jesus name, Amen.” I know that he is in control and that all that happens is as it should even if I do not like it. He takes people out of our life for a reason and I believe he removed Holli and the boys from my life to save me from the evil and misery that Holli has impacted my life with. Even though I miss those boys and love them immensely it is for the best for me. My father in heaven knows best!

(Ephesians 3:20–21). “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.“

I love you Jesus and thank you for taking care of me even though I do not deserve it.

Life is short, so eat the cake. What?!

The last six years have been some really tough years. During these years I learned one thing. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF because you only have one body and one life to live with that body. Remember you are what you eat and drink, your health and exercise partly determines how long you will live on this earth. So many people always say “we’re all gonna die someday so it doesn’t matter” while smoking tabaco, or sitting around watching tv and eating tons of sugary or fattening foods. Truth be told that is true but what we do to take care of ourselves can give us life or take it away, so YES it does matter people!

We all feel the pain when we lose someone we love. So why aren’t we more vigilant in taking care of ourselves for our loved ones? Why aren’t we doing it for ourselves as well? This is a new century, its not like it use to be where everyone started smoking cigarettes’ at seven years old and continued up until your sixty and didn’t care that the second hand smoke might be killing our own children and family members. We are suppose to be smarter now, right? This is the age of the “Health Boomers”. This generation is suppose to be saving the planet, treating the air we breathe and the water we drink. So tell me then, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY UNHEALTHY people? Why are we all dying at a very early age?

Help each other eat right, drink healthy drinks, exercise (especially walking), so we can hold on to each other a little longer, love each other a little longer, be more health conscious. Instead of grabbing a fast food meal, make one at home. Instead of drinking 5-10 sodas a day, drink juice or make a smoothie. Always drink at least 32-64 oz water a day if you can. Oh and omg please, NO GMO’s or PRESERVATIVES. Eat REAL foods. Remember LIFE IS SHORT. Lets all try to save ourselves as hard as we are trying to save the planet we are living on. I mean we love our friends and families, right? Besides that its biblical for us to take care of our bodies.

 

 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

New Living Translation

 

¹⁹ Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, ²⁰ for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

 

 

 

 

Just into my feelings again …

Yesterday I was going through this blog site reading all my blogs to my hubby. He said he found them interesting. The thing is I felt his vibes pretty much saying differently. Like he was actually bored with it.

So I kept asking him if he wanted me to stop and he said it was up to me but he still thinks they were interesting and he was finding out some things about me. So I kept reading. I was feeling like maybe just this once he really was interested in the real me, maybe I was feeling the wrong vibes from him.

Then my grandson came out and started playing ball with the dogs and my hubby joined in with them and confirmed my original feeling that I was actually boring him. So I stopped reading and put down my phone.

I was a bit hurt, frustrated, and felt a teeny bit angry. I said a prayer and went on about my day. That is usually how he makes me feel about most things I do or I may be interested in. Been that way for years, why would I expect to see a change? 😐

Help if you can, save a life! It’s worth the effort. BE KIND, SHOW LOVE ALWAYS. Show you care!

It seems so sad these days to see so many from our younger generation passing on to the next part of life. You don’t expect people to be passing away between the ages 20-30. I’m heartbroken for all the families with such a great loss.

I know God has a plan but it just hurts ya know? Life is hard these days but some of the tragedies can be avoided. We all need to be there to help others to prevent unnecessary deaths. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to care enough to make a change for another person out of love and kindness.

Look at your loved ones, ask what they need help with, then make a change by helping them. If it cost something then it’s worth it. Don’t be greedy, pay it forward if you can. It could just save a life! 💗🌷

In the commandment Jesus told the disciples: “Love one another; as I have loved you”. … John 15:12: This is my commandment, that ye love one another, even as I have loved you. John 15:17: These things I command you, that ye may love one another.

Our past week of freezing weather #TexasStrong

I loved that God sent us the winter that we had. Every flurry of snow that fell was not the same. Can you even imagine that? Each one was a different shape and design. The feeling of the snow under our feet, the sound it made, the shining icicles hanging all over the trees and such. The cold had a really clean smell to it and it was truly a beautiful REAL FREEZING TEXAS winter. We need one week of this every single year without the loss of electricity, water, and food. It kills germs, keeps the bugs under control and it lets us see a teeny bit of what God is capable of creating. The beauty is amazing! He is the best artist with every kind of scenery he sends us.

The loss of heat, water, and food was tough and I hear it took some lives which is so sad and heart breaking. I would never want that to happen again but it taught us how to be smart and prepare for anything that may head our way. All kinds of weather that comes our way we should be prepared for. To be fair we were all warned at least a week ahead of time that we would be under a deep freeze for days. It was all over the news and social media. We were caught off guard because we didn’t think ahead.

I was not inconvenienced much so it’s easy for me to speak out in a joyful way. I had electricity but spent two days with out running water. We were blessed though because God sent us a neighbor to provide us with hot and cold water. He carried them both to our porch in a cooler and buckets. We also had bottled water to drink. Our refrigerator has been broken since before Christmas so food was kind scarce but God provided that too. Don’t worry it’s suppose to be fixed this Wednesday. We also have a very nice Pampered Chef little bbq grill to cook on.

We had several family members suffering without electricity (heat) and water. They could not get to our house because they live two hours away and the road conditions were horrible. We listened to them cry in despair in their suffering and that was hard. God provided for them too though when they needed him to. One went to a hotel, the other had a fireplace, and the other went to her boyfriends parents to stay warm. They were all taken care of and blessed and learned some things.

They have come through this stronger, smarter, and thinking clearly for the next time so they can be prepared and ready! And, there will be a next time, count on it. Now, I do not like freezing weather but I do like about a week or two of cold weather. I thank God that he allowed me to see and appreciate his beautiful amazing art projects. I’m from NY so I have grown up in this kind of weather. So it was not new to me or my husband because he is from Illinois. We new exactly what to expect.

My heart goes out to the families that suffered during it all and for the families that lost a loved one in it. There’s just no words for that. The loss of life is heartbreaking and the grief is tough. So if you know anyone that needs help from the busted pipes, messed up sheetrock, and loss of their loved ones whether it being human family members and furbaby family members and you can help in any way please do it! They really need US (YOU). Love goes a really long way in a time of need. ❤️ #GodlyLove #Shareit

What part of; “I don’t miss you or care about you leaving my life” do you not understand?!!

You can post all you want about how you hate me and how you cut me out of your life and how I betrayed you.

I DON’T CARE! Read that again … I DON’T CARE! This meme goes both way physcochic!!

YOU TORMENTED ME EVERY DAY I HAVE KNOWN YOU. So forgive me when I say THANK YOU, for leaving my life. You have done me an enormous favor!

I NEVER want to see you, hear your voice, or acknowledge you even exist ever again!

I feel sorry for your boys though. Why you say? Because they have to live with you. They have to put up with your ugly mind games. They have to survive YOU! They have to grow up in torment of you. They have to feel heartbreak every time you decide to take them away from the people THEY LOVE to make yourself feel better. They have to sacrifice their hearts, their love, their lives FOR YOU a greedy, self centered, vicious, demon woman.

So when you think of me, think how happy I am to never have to see you again. Think how relieved I am to never hear your ugly voice again. Think how blessed I am that you cut those ties! Again … THANK YOU!!

I finally said my peace and now I shall move on and forget YOU ever existed! #physochic #demonwoman #selfishgirl #physcopath #gladyourgonefrommylife